At first, you might think, “I do not want to celebrate my divorce!”
Your divorce is the end of an era. It may well be an ending that you did not ask for and that you did not want. You may have fought tooth and nail to save your marriage. You may have bargained, pleaded, lost weight, wore sexy outfits, read books, gone to marriage counseling and anything else that you heard would save your marriage.
The divorce process itself may have been long and drawn out. There were court dates to deal with, custody hearings, fights over who gets what and the fear of becoming a bag lady (which is a very common fear for most women.) You may have had to go back to work. Since the day you separated, it has seemed like it has been a very long struggle.
You have cried, you have been angry and may have even had thoughts of revenge or murder. You might have held onto that one last shred of hope that things would turn around and you could salvage your marriage.
Now, the time has come that your divorce is final. You are no longer considered a married person. In a way, it could be like a death after a very long illness. You have been grieving all along.
Women celebrate a divorce for different reasons. For some, it may be the end of a long struggle or accepting that what is and choosing to get on with their life. For others it could mean a newfound freedom or getting out of a bad situation. Regardless what reason you want to celebrate your divorce, it means that you are showing love and compassion for yourself rather than sinking into a big black hole of depression and resisting what is.
Here are 10 Ways to Celebrate Your Divorce
1. Have a makeover. Try a new hair color and hairstyle. It is amazing how renewed you feel after doing this! Buy some new fashionable clothes. Get a pedicure, manicure and a massage. You will feel like a brand new woman.
2. Redecorate your home. If you do not have the money to redecorate your entire home, start with a room and then make a plan to tackle the rest of the house over the next couple of months. Your home is your sanctuary and it should reflect all of who you are. Take out reminders of your ex. If your ex always wanted a blue bedspread, you might opt for a psychedelic or floral pattern that has all the colors except for blue.
3. Get a tattoo. Have you ever thought about getting a particular tattoo? Maybe your ex did not like tattoos or maybe it is something you have secretly desired but was never brave enough to admit it or go for it. A tattoo can be a daily visual reminder of your past and your commitment to make a better future for yourself. Think of something that has the meaning of rebirth or freedom such as birds, butterflies or a rising sun.
4. Treat yourself to something new. If you have been married for a long time, the thought of going somewhere by yourself might be frightening, but once you do, it is empowering! Take yourself to a concert, the opera, a live play or a night out on the town including movie and a dinner. You will be around other people without being concerned about stepping on someone’s toes. While at the same time, you can be alone with your thoughts.
5. Have a quiet night at home with a good friend. You can talk, watch comedies, or give each other a mani-pedi. Make it an ex-free night. No talking about your ex (or hers!). Talk about your dreams, your goals and aspirations in life or share funny stories about when you were a little girl.
6. Go out with friends. Go clubbing – just be sure you have a designated driver if you are going to drink. Dance and have some fun with the girls.
7. Throw a party. Many women enjoy celebrating their divorce by throwing a big party, complete with male strippers, a divorce cake, and a dartboard with the ex’s picture on it etc.
8. Take a road trip. Get together with a friend or two and take a weekend road-trip. Take in the scenery and give yourself permission to do whatever you feel like doing. You could have a road trip like Thelma and Louise (without the dismal finale). Ideas include a long ride down Route 66, along the coast, or off beaten paths in the deserts and mountains.
9. Complete a ritual. Rituals might include writing down goals and aspirations, meditating in front of candles, burning your marriage certificate or citing an affirmation. A quick search online will give you a variety of ideas.
10. Partake in a healing ceremony. Many religious groups and clergy have ceremonies to mark the end of your marriage in order to help you cope with the changes in your life due to your divorce. Ask your religious leaders or local clergy members if they know or offer such a ceremony. You can also do searches online to find a ceremony for your particular situation.
Regardless of how you celebrate your divorce, know that it is ok to laugh and to look to the future. Choose today to let the past go. Accepting what happened does not mean you have to like it, it just means that you are not resisting the change it brought. When you resist reality, it will only cause more heartache and stress for you. Take the time you need to heal and to find yourself. Find something new to celebrate every day.