If you are looking for a way to go through your divorce as smoothly as possible …
If you are ready to move forward after divorce to embrace your magnificent self and create the life you desire …
The Moving Forward After Divorce Newsletter is for you!!!
The newsletter will be jam packed with information related to life after divorce, with topics like:
- Discovering who you really are and what you want in life
- Handling your emotions
- Dealing with your ex and his family
- Helping children cope with the divorce
- Relocating after divorce
- Finding or beginning a new job after divorce
- Child support custody and support issues
- Dating after divorce
- Dating after divorce with children
To top it off, Each week the Moving Forward After Divorce newsletter will include an “Ask Cindy” section where you can ask your questions and get answers!
November 20, 2014
In This Issue:
Note from Cindy
Quote of the Week
* 7 Steps to Peace
* Compassionate Divorce Recovery
* Why would I want to celebrate during my grief?
* 7 Steps to move forward
Hope this week finds you well.I have been having a busy life as well as more technical challenges that I care to face. However, persistence is the key to winning.
What do you think it takes to be happy? It’s not money, relationships, jobs or a new car. Rather it is a choice, as Abraham Lincoln put it, “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Even when you are walking down some of the deepest darkest paths of your life, their is always something you can find to be happy about. Find that little spark and hold onto it. Watch it, nurture it and add other little things to it. Soon, you will have a bright shining light that you choose to create.
* * * * * * *
Remember Cindy, you are right where you are supposed to be at this moment. Stop fretting over the past, find peace in the current moment and look to your bright new beginnings!
Love Yourself!!! You are worth it
“If you find yourself plagued by a recurrent worry, train yourself to think of something else. Your conscious mind can concentrate on only one thought at a time, and driving the negativity away will free you up to move forward again.” ~ Harvey Mackay
7 Steps to Having More Peace During AND After Divorce
To attend, visit: PeaceDuringDivorce.com
If you missed the first 60 Day Compassionate Divorce Recovery Course
You might want to consider joining us for the next class that starts January 20th
Current participants are already reporting some major breakthroughs!!!
Question from Paula in Nevada
My 16 year old son is so hurt. His father moved out of the state last week and refuses to talk to my son. My soon to be ex sent my son a text telling my son not to text him anymore because my son pushed him out of the house. He also told my son that he was dead to him. My ex is the one that had an affair and chose to leave us. What is the best way to help my son through this?
My heart goes out to you and your son! His father is acting like a child. I would suggest reinforcing your love for your son, maybe take him out on a special date for just the two of you. This is such a tender situation. You want to be sure that your son knows that you are there for him while maintaining a parental – authoritative figure for him. Don’t allow his loss to be an excuse to let your son do anything that he wants to.
Assure your son that:
1) Let him know that you are there for him. Do not force him to talk, if he doesn’t feel like it. Do allow the space and time for him to share when he is ready. He needs to feel that it is safe for him to share his thoughts.
2) He did nothing wrong. He is entitled to his own feelings and beliefs. There is no law that states a child must believe what their parents do.
3) He is not responsible for his fathers actions. Each person is responsible for their own thoughts, feelings and actions. Some people are able to manipulate others into believing that it is their fault. None of this is your sons fault.
4) There is nothing he can do to change his father. We are incapable of changing others. The best thing to do is, to accept others as they are. Accepting does not mean that you like the way they are or that you like the fact that they hurt you in the first place.
5) He is a good person and will bloom into a fine young man. Focus on everything good and positive about your son. He probably feels some guilt and shame in all of this. His self-esteem may have faltered. Reminding your son of everything good that he is and does, will boost his confidence.
Do not make excuses for your ex. He and he alone is responsible for his actions. When your son asks you questions about your ex, be truthful without placing blame and without additional extenuating circumstances that your son does not need to know.
Bottom line, tell your son that he should do whatever is right and good in his heart and head. Tell him that it is his choice how much he chooses to try to pursue (or not pursue) a relationship with his father. Explain to him that his father is simply trying to play a quilt trip on him when NONE of this is your sons fault or responsibility.
(Disclaimer: My replies are NOT meant to be a substitute for the advice of a mental health professional. I have no relevant training in psychology or psychiatry. You are responsible for any actions that you may take.)