Ask Cindy: How Do I Get Through My First Valentine’s Day Without Him?

This is my first Valentine’s Day after my divorce and I am dreading it. My ex used to always plan special things for us to do and now all I am expecting is to sit at home and cry. Do you have any suggestions on what I might do?  ~Alba in Missouri


The first year after a breakup tends to be the hardest with all the firsts - the first Christmas, anniversary, birthday and even Valentine’s day.

Instead of brooding over the past, choose to make new Valentine’s Day traditions. Some examples of what you might do:

1. Go out with other single friends. Everyone needs a girl’s night!

2. Have a date with your children - regardless of their age! If you don’t have children but think that spending time with a child would brighten your day then offer to babysit a relative or friends child. I am sure they wouldn’t mind.

3. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. There is nothing better than doing for others to warm the heart.

4. Visit a hospital or nursing home and take them small gifts, like a small heart sachet. I am sure they would really enjoy the company. (Check with the facility first.)

5. Treat yourself to a spa day with a mani-pedi, facial and massage. If you can’t afford a spa day out you could do an “at home” spa day. If you have a daughter or niece this would be a fun activity to do with her.

6. Buy yourself a sexy teddy, put it on and eat chocolate strawberries while indulging in your favorite chick-flick. (The sexy teddy is for you to feel beautiful and good about yourself - nothing else.)

7. Have a singles only Valentine’s Day party and invite all of your single friends and tell them to bring a single friend - both male and female.

You can also check out my blog post, 7 Ways a Divorced Woman can Celebrate Valentine’s Day, for a few more ideas.

Regardless of what you do, it should be about what you want. Do something that will make you feel good. Love yourself because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!


If you are feeling stuck on the emotional roller coaster that comes with the holidays, sign up and see if you qualify for a complimentary “Getting Unstuck” conversation with Me, Cindy Holbrook.

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