Preventing Loneliness When Kids Are Visiting Dad

Many divorced mom’s report massive feelings of loneliness while their kids are gone off visiting their father. Missing your children and being lonely are two completely different things. Don’t wallow around feeling sorry for yourself because you’re used to all the havoc and noise that comes along with parenting. Or the fact that you can’t tuck them in bed at night.

Regardless what you do, you will miss your children. Try focusing on the positive, that your children are having a good time or that they get to experience new things. Be grateful that your child has a father that wants to spend time with them. You love your child and naturally want what’s best for them. Children have a right to be loved and to love both of their parents.

The question is how to prevent the loneliness from seeping in while the kids are gone. Obviously, the answer is to keep busy. And by busy, I’m not talking about sitting in front of the TV, computer or even getting your house spotless. Keep busy by expanding your horizons and taking care of yourself.

You may think, I could never do some of things all by myself! Why not? Being alone is really ok. For some odd reason, we are brought up thinking that being alone is bad and that we need a companion to accompany us everywhere we go. Heck, as women we even go to the bathroom together. When you venture out on your own, you self-esteem and confidence will soar and it allows you to do exactly what you want to do.

Tina had always wanted to go kayaking. However, her ex was not interested at all so she never went. After her divorce, she thought now’s the time to book a kayaking adventure. As it turned out, none of her girlfriends could go with her, so she went alone. Being out in the ocean and going through the caverns was breathtaking. She met some new friends and described it as the most freeing and exhilarating experience that she’s ever had.

Here are 7 things you can do when the kids are away:

1) Date. This is really the perfect opportunity for you to date a variety of men, without having to worry about a babysitter. Dating different men will give you a very clear picture of what traits you want and don’t want in a man. Don’t introduce a man to your kids until you know that it’s a serious relationship.

2) Treat yourself to a spa day. You deserve it. Your choices include, a new hairdo, mud bath, facial, massage, or a mani-pedi. If you’ve been feeling drained lately, why not try them all?

3) Go to places where you wouldn’t take your children. These include places like a movie theater to see a scary movie, a concert, nightclub or Chippendales. If your children will be gone for a few days, it might be the perfect time for a week-end getaway or a vacation.

4) Shop. Utilize your time alone to do some shopping without the kids, even if you are just window shopping. It’s a good time to buy some new clothes, that you can try on, without the kids running around the store or sitting there complaining they are bored.

5) Have a slumber party. Invite some of your gal friends over for a good old fashioned slumber party. Your married ones can attend too, it might be a good way for them to get out the house for a while. At the party, you can turn the tube on and watch chick flicks or scary movies. Talk, laugh and play games just like you did when you were a teenager.

6) Meet people. Attend a meet-up activity in your area involving single people. It’s a great way to mingle and make new friends. You can also check out any type of club, organization or sport that you have been interest in.

7) Go exploring. Nature is a wonderful place. It is relaxing and meditative. When you are immersed in the beauty of nature it gives you an ah-inspiration. Exploring, can be as simple as walking through the park, around a small lake, or through the desert. If you are venturing out in isolated areas be sure to bring along a friend or go with a group. At the very least, let someone know your itinerary.

There you have it. Seven things that you can do to build your self-esteem, learn, and experience life while the kids are away. It’s a way to meet new friends as well as getting in touch with the inner you!

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  1. The only person who can fill the holes in your life are you. Happiness is and always will be an inside job. A daily self-care practice would benefit divorced moms in a huge way!


    Peggy Nolan

  2. As a former single mom (now happily married), these are wonderful tips!

  3. I am a happily divorced momma to a special needs kiddo with a severe sleep disorder, if my kiddo were to ever visit his father (which he hasn’t ever) then I would use the time to catch up on the sleep that I’m not getting. I wouldn’t change things for the life of me though.

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